Grace Catherdral Park
Down Through
Katy Song
Mistress
Things Mean A Lot
Funhouse
Take Me Out
Rollercoaster
New Jersey
Dragonflies
Mistress (piano version)
Mother
Strawberry Hill
Brown Eyes
a rare and blistering sun shines down
on grace cathedral park
there with you I fear the time when air gets dark
you know I don't spend days like this
caught up in lost times of youth that I miss
can almost hear rollercoasters
see sailboats in the sea
hear noise and screaming
weaving in and out of
happy music box sounds
but here on the ground
we're so far away from that
time turned older now
we walked down the hill
I feel the coming on of the fading sun
and I know for sure that you'll never be the one
it's the forbidden moment that we live that
fires our sad escape
and holds passion more than words can say
tell me why are you like this
are you the same with anyone
save me from my sickness and tell me
why do you treat me like this
tell me why are you like this
are you the same with anyone
save me from my sickness and tell me
why are you like this
why are you like this
I walked down the hill
sluggishly and frail
the wind blew hard
hard on me
I imagined it
your ghost white body
making love with me
I walked down the hill
found you crying at the window sill
there lies the bridge
of our lost dreams
I want to see it
once more before I leave
I still feel the sting in my hand from when I hit you
I keep your picture tidy and safe in a shrine
and hope that in time
we'll have a house on the shore that showers my soul
washes away the violence that runs in my blood
drains the pain that I've caused you
down through
some escape some door to open
this path seems the blackest but I
guess it's the soonest
but there in the clearing I
know you'll be wearing your
young aching smile and
waving your hand
can't go with my heart when I
can't feel what's in it I
thought you'd come over
but for some reason you didn't
glass on the pavement under my shoe
without you is all my life amounts to
a final sleep no
words from my cutting
mouth to your ear or
taut wicked pinches
from my fingers to your bitter face
that I can't heal
I know tomorrow
you will be
somewhere in London
living with someone
you've got some kind of family
there to turn to
and that's more than I could ever give you
a chance for calm
a hope for freedom
outlet from my cold solitary kingdom
by the forest of our spring stay
where you walked away
and left a bleeding part of me
empty and bothered
watching the water
quiet in the corner
numb and falling through
without you what does my life amount to?
the light color in this room
the sunshine seeping in
doesn't mix with the black of
death's angel looming in
I've had enough of the
brutal beatings and name callings
to lose me to this bed
bruised internally
eternally
your praise little gifts you spent your money
and stuffed me with
didn't amount to anything
the attention I need is
much more serious
a kind of weight you couldn't lift
even if your cheap career
depended on it
I need someone much more
mysterious
to be my miss
to be my mistress
a descending climb
my feet can't make the hill
to the top where your house hides
tomorrow she comes
the one who I've sworn and broke loyalty
to take your place in the bed next to me
you threaten to make me dead
and none of this will matter or surface again
scares you to know that we won't be
watching the same sun
or brooding the same thoughts
in the same part of the world
scares me how you get older
how you forget about each other
scares me how you get older
how you forget about each other
things mean a lot at the time
don't mean nothing later
things mean a lot at the time
weight has fallen on me
like a part of the sky
and life's hell getting up
off the floor
raise the blind
and let the day shine in
out with this gray into air
darkness tones
in our chinatown home
view of rain clouds
from the window
moving behind the pale of her face
a thousand circus mirrors
cannot move a frown
we are the real clowns
and the sun rarely shines
our way
and when it does
that sound coming from those holes
a voice that soars and takes my wounds with it
to levels unknown
if only you could take me out
instead of back in
to a relationship I don't understand
if only you could take me out
instead of back in
to myself that's dying within
your soul pours out of those holes
music of this crazy time
when your car crashed
did your ghost find peace
and together entwine?
if only you could take me out
instead of back in
to a relationship I don't understand
if only you could take me out
instead of back in
to myself that's dying within
there's my favorite rollercoaster
next to the blue water
the one only sissies ride
there's the sun
going down
creating that florescent glow
reminding me I'll never be able
to relive this day
except in memory
there's those big barking fish
in the concrete stream
growling for dog food
bulging dead eyes that gleam
but where's dad
and where is mom
looks like from here on out
it's just me and you
looks like from here on
out it's just me and you
you're an american girl
red headed eyes blank
living in a freckle on the face of the world
another dying kid that learned too much too soon
you're not as good as your mom
but you're as good as dead
you're as good as dead
new jersey ain't the whole world
which of your shots have sold
twenty-nine with your child
who doesn't give and eats what's left
of your young soul
another dying spark that burned too fast too soon
you're not as bad as your dad
but you're as good as dead
you're as good as dead
new jersey ain't the whole world
don't you leave me out here too long
will you bring me out there too
you're an american girl
out of line in out of time
a cry for the leading role
your bum childhood stole
a mother tires and stuck
in her love-worn bed
you're not as good as your mom
but you're as good as dead
you're as good as dead
new jersey ain't the whole world
don't you leave me out here too long
will you bring me out there?
this is the first you spoke of it
in your black magic house in a cold damp attic
two windows stare at us like eyes
behind them December's dark early morning sky
and a couple of dead trees
with their ornamental stars
I thought by now that I figured your head
out
until now I thought I figured your body out
so please help me to understand
because I love you more than anyone
I wonder in what fields today
you're chasing dragonflies at play
my little lost girl so far away
I wonder in what fields today
you're chasing dragonflies at play
my little lost girl so far away
this is the first you
this is the first you spoke of it
this is the first you
this is the first you spoke of it
the light color in this room
the sunshine seeping in
doesn't mix with the black of
death's angel looming in
I want a piece of the
brutal beatings and name callings
to lose me to this bed
bruised internally eternally
your praise little gifts you spent your money and stuffed me with
didn't amount to anything
the attention I need is much more serious
a kind of weight you couldn't lift
even if your cheap career depended on it
I need someone much more mysterious
to be my
to be my miss
to be my mistress
the way the street looked
dim and polluted
so have I felt when I walked upon
the way the air seemed
gray fog diluted
so do I feel when I'm breathed upon
ominous head spoke you ain't so good
poorly the sow joked
trashed and words muttered
I want to be mothered
I want you to give
attention to my belly button
mother
I want to have
boddy pins stuck in my ears
and drown away the endless days
ridding soon the troubled ways
embedded down with a warm frown
in a wrong and impure dream
anchored down with a mermaid
in sound halcyon sea
lure me in her salt
liquid canyon far beneath
my mother savior
with her goddess touch
brushes hands through my hair
I can hear them
speaking in the next room
as they drink and start losing control and get louder
they lose control and get louder
they wonder about me
I can hear her twirling the ice with her finger
she's got that half dead look in her eyes by now
she worries about me
he's not like the other boys around here
he says nothing and sits in his
room and he's afraid to
and he's afraid to drive a car
so sad he is
and he's afraid to drive a car
so sad he is
it's our duty as we're respected
it's our duty as californians
to show him new life
ever since my staying I've been
having bad dreams
so stop eating cabbage
and stop talking to that girl
what are the winters like here?
hush up and play the piano
but have I told you how I love her?
yes but you're Aquarius
and she is Capricorn
come come now and meet
your cousins from L.A.
shut up and leave me alone
we know who you are
I read your palm while you were sleeping
and I read through your diary
and the secrets you've been keeping
we were already aware of
and now for dinner
and maybe tomorrow
we'll have a drink and talk this over
and in the meantime
please think of the good things we've done for you
it's our duty as we're respected
it's our duty as californians
to show him new life
tell me and take your time
set free this soul of mine
freeze frame this sedate moment
lie me in your quiet ground
I understand your
tired eyes for these
tired homes and tired trees
I see the pain in those
brown eyes
fires burn in autumn skies